


A Son's Confusion

by Sarek and Amanda Archive Maintainer (Selek)



Series: IDIC [5]
Category: Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Firestar - Freeform, Lisa - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:57:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,844
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selek/pseuds/Sarek%20and%20Amanda%20Archive%20Maintainer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pride in accomplishments makes certain Vulcans acknowledge their feelings. A companion Piece to A Father's pride and Joy. Spock's POV.</p><p>Written by Lisa (Firestar).</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Son's Confusion

Disclaimer: Star Trek in all its forms belongs to the corporations and others. No profit will be made by this fan fiction by others or me. It may not be bought or sold. This is just for our enjoyment and to tie up loose ends that drove me crazy.

Rating : R ( References to extreme Violence)

Archive: Selek Yes anyone else just let me know where.

Summary: Pride in accomplishments makes certain Vulcans acknowledge their feelings. A companion Piece to A Father's pride and Joy. Spock's POV.

IDIC- Solutions: Series Part III

A Son's Confusion

Rating :R - See above notes

Captain Spock watched the ceremony with a certain pride and pleasure. He of course hid his joy and sense of great pride behind his "Vulcan Mask"

He would however admit to himself if no one else his sense of Pride. While Pride was an emotion in this case his reasons were logical and in fact the cause was more then sufficient. His Metee or Protégée as humans would call it was graduating second in her class from Star Fleet Academy.

While many might consider second place to be a losing proposition Spock did not. He watched as the well formed young woman walked with great confidence and perhaps a certain arrogance across the stage. He suppressed a smile at her long confident strides. Saavik of Vulcan as she was know had never even in her earliest days had never lacked confidence or presence. 

Spock would admit to few that he had from the first been drawn to this girl-child. Yes, as much as the humans may consider Saavik and adult at 20 she was still very much a child by Vulcan standards. He almost did smile at that thought as he to had graduated from this very institution at 21. He had felt so very grow up how little he had known.

Spock looked over and noted his venerable father Sarek of Vulcan "The Ambassador" was watching with unrestrained pride.

This illogical action confused his son deeply. Spock recalled his own graduation day and his deep hope that his father would be present. He had been disappointed in this. He to control that painful memory because it had been a joyful day for him in all other regards. His mentor Admiral T'Pol had been present as had his Mother Amanda Grayson and her family. He to had placed second in his class.

Perhaps that was the source of pride that despite the trials she had endured Saavik strong will and determination had allowed her to excel and to equal his own humble accomplishments. He was the first to admit that Saavik's achievement was far greater then his own. Spock knew he had been the one with every advantage from his earliest conception. He had the best minds in the Federation and on Vulcan work to help create his life. A life he knew both his parents cherished despite their differences in option over his career. For surly the opposite of love was hate.

He knew Sarek hated his career and he often thought by extension himself. His mother Amanda said this was not so but sometimes in his weakest moments Spock had to wonder? Spock watched as Sarek showed pride in Saavik. Why could it not have been the same for him? Or even simple acceptance?

Spock forced those thoughts aside as he watched the one person who had always accepted him for himself receive her honors. from the very first this child had been there for him. Saavik had never thought of him as lacking. She had from their first meeting been his staunches defender.

He smiled as he recalled how a then ten year old Saavik had saved his life. Of course she might be older or younger it was hard to tell but she had been so young. He could not and would not say innocent because like all the children of hell guard that precious quality had been ripped away by her Romulan Captors. Saavik had fought for ever breath, ever scrape of food she consumed. She had to kill and eat meat to survive. When he had meet her she had been more savage then sentient.

While Spock had been created to be a symbol of unity for his father and mother Saavik and the other children had been created by rape and torture to spit the already divided Romulan and Vulcan peoples further apart still.

Spock knew he had been created in a laboratory but his creation was a gift from his father to his mother. Sarek could easily have sought or insisted on a surrogate for his heir but it was a measure of his devotion to his bond and his very human wife that he had ordered the best minds to find a way for his Vulcan and Amanda's human DNA to create a viable being. Spock knew his mother well. She loved him he had no doubts about that but her devotion to her husband would have allowed her to bow to his desires had he wanted a full Vulcan child. He knew this single act his conception had given Sarek the last hold on his human wife. Amanda had loved Sarek before his birth but after it was even more ingrained. Spock had no real illusions his mother would never survive the lose of his father. She could survive his demise. It would hurt her deeply but as long as she had Sarek she would be fine.

He shuttered as his mind drifted back to the Babel Mission. He had seen first hand how devoted she was. She would have risked the entire diplomatic mission and the Enterprise to Save Sarek. There had been no other task she deemed as important as saving Sarek. He remembered the blow she had delivered to his face. He had on one level been deeply hurt ,.but on an other he did understand. Amanda had always assumed she would die first. Faced with a differing scenario she was afraid and lost. She looked to him to be the key to saving his father's life. In the end he had done that. He sighed as he put the past away it had no place here.

His thoughts drifted back to his Saavik.

Saavik had fought her way to being accepted. She had resisted and then accepted help. She never was one to follow blindly. He recalled the myriad of questions.

Flashback…

"Spock why is the Sky blue here on Earth? Why is it red on Vulcan?"

"Spock why am I stronger then those boys? Are not boys supposed to be stronger then girls?"

"Saavik the sky is blue or red because of the way the light is filtered and the nature of the light from the differing types of suns. "

"Saavik you are Vulcan/Romulan"

"Am not! Not a Romulan!!!" She would shout. Her body tensed and angry.

Calmly Spock would begin again. "Now Saavikam listen to me. Vulcan's and Romulans are of the same blood. We are brothers and sisters. "

 

Saavik stopping her tirade at once to say: "You not my broter Spock. You are not my father neither!"

He raise a brow "No , I am not your brother or father Saavik."

The child looked at him strangely and smiled.

He heard a chuckle and watched as his mother and Sarek come in.

"What Spock means child ,is that while humans boys/ males have many fine qualities Vulcan's and even Romulan's have greater strength." Amanda explained.

"No like human boys. They laugh at me!!! I hit!!" Saavik said."Humans is stupid!"

Sarek had raised a brow. "Now Saavik it is not the boys fault they lack emotional control. They are children and even Vulcan children must learn control. Humans have many fine individuals. Look to T'Amanda as a guide to what a good human must be."

"Thanks Sarek now I am a role model for humanity?" Amanda said chuckling.

"You are the best most logical human there is my wife."

"Why is that Sarek?"

"Because you bonded with me." Sarek replied with a straight face.

Spock had been slightly shocked at this teasing display and not to pleased with either of his parents. What example were they setting for the impressionable Saavik?

 

"What good qualities T'Manda? " Saavikl asked

"Yes my wife what fine qualities do you like in Human Males.?" Sarek asked.

Amanda giggled "They are not perfect. Unlike their Vulcan counterparts."

Sarek's brow had raised with amusement.

Spock had to look away he felt so outside his parents circle.

Saavik walked to his side and took his hand.

"Spock I sorry I hit stupid boys."

He looked down. " I know Saavik I am certain the cause was sufficient." He excused her faults because no one had excused his own.

 

Back to the present…

He watched as Saavik came toward him now to give the traditional salute. He spotted Sarek beaming with a father's pride. He did not begrudge this because in many ways Sarek had helped raise Saavik.

Spock once more looked up again and was suddenly struck by how mature she looked. She was by far the perfect Vulcan female. Grace and beauty in a most lethal package. He could see no spare fat on her frame only solid muscle and the grace of a lematya. It was as if life had forged Saavik into the perfect foil for himself. He watched her come to him and realized he would have to burry this realization this sudden longing and need. It was not fair to burden Saavik with his wants, needs and desires. It was enough he would remain her mentor and father figure. If Saavik guessed at his longing she was just enough Romulan to come to him as a payment of honor. That he could never stand. No she had to be free to find love and happiness. Yes, he wanted those emotional gifts for her. He was enough of her father to want a man who would be perfect for her. Spock knew himself well he had a list of failings. He would never be worthy of one as unique and special as Lt. Saavik of Vulcan.

Spock saluted her sharply and took the traditional gold and silver coin from her hand. He would wear it close to his heart but Saavik would never know he had fallen deeply and irrevocably in love with her.

\--------------

Across the forum Sarek watched this scene unfold and smiled.

Sarek looked at Spock thinking. {I am proud of them both. If only they would unite and make our house strong and viable again. }

Sarek resolved to assist them after all it was only logical that both his pride and his joy be one house and one person a family.

"Saavik be perfect for Spock." Amanda said

"I concur and so it shall be."

\-----------------------------------------------

Spock and Saavik spoke with Captain Kirk and Dr. Mc Coy as they discussed the ceremony. All of them unaware that this day was the beginning of a new family line.

Fini for the moment…

**Author's Note:**

> Authors Notes: Stand alone story the fini for now is because it ends this character POV. This is part of the IDIC - Solutions thread. Part III if you will.
> 
> Thanks ,
> 
> FireStar


End file.
